Folsom · Rancho Cordova · Sacramento · California Telehealth
Enmeshment therapy in Folsom, Rancho Cordova, and across California.
Enmeshment therapy with Amanda McBee, LMFT, is individual therapy for adults working on blurred boundaries and the family-of-origin patterns underneath them, offered in person in Rancho Cordova and by telehealth across California.
When you grew up in a family where there was not much room to be a separate person, closeness can come with a quiet cost. You end up tracking everyone else's feelings, feeling responsible for moods that are not yours, and feeling exhausted and second-guessing yourself whenever you try to want something on your own. This is therapy for untangling those family patterns and finding the version of you that gets to take up space, in Folsom, Rancho Cordova, and across California by telehealth.
It is a no-pressure conversation to see if we are a good fit.
Amanda McBee, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)
What it often looks like
Where you end and your family begins.
The people I work with on enmeshment often describe some version of this: guilt that shows up the moment they make a choice their family would not make; a parent or sibling whose moods set the temperature for the whole family; feeling responsible for keeping everyone close and okay; not quite knowing what they think until they have checked how someone else feels about it; and a sense that wanting privacy, distance, or a different life can feel like a betrayal.
Many of them grew up being told they had a close family, and they did. The closeness was real. What was missing was room to be a separate person inside of it.
How we work on it
Building enough separateness to be yourself.
The work is integrative and grounded in family-systems thinking. We look at the patterns you learned, where they came from, and how they are still shaping your relationships now. I draw on family-systems work and schema therapy for the long-running templates, cognitive behavioral work for the guilt and the thinking patterns that keep the old rules in place, EMDR or Brainspotting when the material is trauma-rooted, and a person-centered baseline throughout.
The goal is not to cut anyone off or to decide your family did everything wrong. It is to build enough separateness that you can be in your relationships as yourself, with choices that are genuinely your own and closeness that does not cost you your sense of who you are.
When the work might also need something else
Enmeshment patterns sometimes sit alongside a heavier clinical picture. When the family history includes emotional neglect, control that crossed into abuse, or complex trauma, longer-term therapy is usually the right level of care, and some people benefit from a trauma specialist or a psychiatric evaluation alongside individual therapy. If you are noticing a depressive episode, intrusive thoughts, or anxiety that is interfering with daily life, it is worth getting a psychiatric evaluation in addition to therapy.
If you are in crisis, please call 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or 911.
Related areas of work
Common questions
Common questions about enmeshment therapy.
What is enmeshment?
Enmeshment is a family-systems term for relationships where the boundaries between people have become blurred, so one person's feelings, choices, and sense of self are hard to separate from another's. It is not a clinical diagnosis. It is a pattern, usually learned in your family of origin, where closeness and control got tangled together and individual space was treated as a kind of betrayal.
What is enmeshment therapy?
Enmeshment therapy is individual therapy that helps you build enough separateness to be yourself inside your closest relationships. We look at the family-of-origin patterns where closeness and control got tangled together, the guilt that shows up when you make your own choices, and the ways you learned to track everyone else's feelings before your own. It is offered in person in Rancho Cordova and by telehealth across California.
Is enmeshment the same as codependency?
They overlap, and they are not identical. Codependency usually describes over-functioning and managing another person to keep a relationship stable. Enmeshment describes a lack of separateness in the first place, where you were not given much room to be a distinct person. Many of the people I work with carry both. The work pays attention to whichever pattern is actually running.
Will this make me cut off my family?
No. The goal is not estrangement. The work is about building enough separateness that you can be in your relationships as yourself, with choices that are actually yours. For some people that means clearer boundaries; for others it means a different way of being close. What you do with your family is always your call, not mine.
Can we meet online?
Yes. I see clients in person at my office in Rancho Cordova and by telehealth across California.
Do you take insurance?
I am out-of-network. I provide superbills you can submit for possible out-of-network reimbursement, depending on your plan.
Practical details
In person
11121 Sun Center Drive, Suite F1, Rancho Cordova, CA 95670.
Telehealth
Available to clients located anywhere in California, by secure video.
Service area
Sacramento Metro East, including Folsom, Rancho Cordova, Roseville, El Dorado Hills, and Cameron Park for in-person sessions. California-wide by video.
Fees
$170 per 50-minute session. A limited number of sliding-scale spots are available, please ask.
Take the first step
Closeness that doesn't cost you who you are.
The first conversation is fifteen minutes, free, and no paperwork. We talk about what is going on for you, what you are hoping for, and whether we are a good fit.
(916) 337-8714 · amanda@amandamcbee.com